Looking Back

Past is past. Some people don't look back in the past. It could be because they have a lot of painful memories. For me, my past is worth reminiscing because it's what molded me to what I become now..

15 years ago..high school life..who and how was I in high school?.. just an ordinary poor girl studying in a private catholic school because the father and mother worked hard in the farm from dusk till dawn. The best parents in the world for me.

I wasn't that bad in high school, I earned some grades that qualified me to enroll in a university. I was a student leader too, but I think, my leadership sucks, I'm better off being a member. I wasn't really proud being an officer to the organizations that I joined, maybe then I was, but now, I was embarrassed because I know I could have done better...

I wasn't so concerned about how I was doing as in character wise, not till I've chatted to some schoolmates and classmates days and months ago. They're so nice for telling me that I'm one of the classmates they like because I'm friendly..yeah I was really friendly..in other words "balimbing"..lol..But I was really concerned now. Because I know I was mean to quite a few because I have pretty good number of arguments with my classmates. I was just surprise when one of my friends in high school told me how she hated certain individuals telling me how these guys belittled her. In belittling, that's not me. I don't have the face to do that. If I was beauty and brains, I might..:-)...just kidding..I don't think I have the capacity to intimidate people but there are really people who have and sometimes they do that. But just because someone can intimidate someone, that doesn't mean she's bad. I have this classmate whose been hated by quite a few. Surprisingly, among all my classmates that my mom knew, she's her favorite. She doesn't see in her the negative things she heard about her. Everytime they met, she always smiled and talked to her.I'm really happy to hear that she's friendly to my mom. Sometimes these people we judge at school negatively, they turned out to be better than us in many ways.

It's embarrassing to know that at some point in my high school life I might really have annoyed or pissed someone and they have been carrying the grudges until now. I admit I'm always childish and forever will be, but now I matured in some ways (esp. facially..lol) already so I think it's not yet too late to ask for apologies. To all the people that I have caused pain. I'm sorry...sincerely..